Hello I’m Aubrey, I want to thank you for your continuous support during the hard-times (prison). Most of you have never met me in person yet have came to know me so well you have found parts of me that I did not know even existed. Some of you have come to know me through other friends, some through your daily emails and phone calls. Some through the website http://www.DrawingaWiderCircle.com. I have been transparent in exposing my inner-being, you on the other hand have revealed to me those weakness I neeed to be aware of,those that I didn’t’ see, as well as pointing out my strengths and this was the result of heart to heart conversations over the years.
It is now time to bring your awareness up, Aubrey is a real live, breathing human being, That as of the 12th of April I will be landing in a totally alien world (society) with nothing but a shirt and pair of overalls (Big Smith 🙂 ) as my sole possessions.
However for the first time in my 65 years of life I will no longer be alone. I have friends from the rocky shores of Maine down to New Hampshire over to Wisconsin and across the world in Australia onto the UK and The Netherlands then out in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean the tiny Island on Bermuda. You folks have came to me by some of the strangest means over the years and each is like a precious jewel in a precision crafted work of art, that I now wear around my heart. You are the people that have trusted me with your hearts and hands. You placed your trust in me when I could not even trust my self. You have empowered me to stand Bold-and-Upright for the first time in my life.
I have spent 59 years lost…on a journey through Hell beginning at 6 years old and into another state sanctioned institutional Hell called an asylum for the insane. Then became chronically homeless by 15 and in jail by 17 and in prison by 18 and that cycle has continued to the present day in one form or another.
I am a slow learner (learned to read at almost 30 in prison) but I have always had heart knowledge, I just could not believe in it I had to have some validation or so I was taught. My actions depended on the calculations that my mind made not my heart. It is comparable to this little analogy, Someone gives you a calculator, now it is the first one you ever had or seen, so you were anxious to put it into use and started adding numbers that you knew the solution of and the answers you were getting were wrong. You now become obsessed and frightfully start computing over and over thinking it will change and give you the answers you know is true but the calculator seems to be insane, or are you insane? Finally in great desperation you are holding on to it with such a powerful grip that you crush it and it snaps POW! Thank God! I am free of this craziness, I am back to having to trust in my heart for my answers, I find the heart does not lie.
Then I find out that the person that gave me the calculator had took it apart and moved the numbers around and put it back together. The 9 was where the 1 was suppose to be and the 3 was where the 5 was suppose to be and on and on not one number was left unchanged and It was impossible to compute using the keys unless you knew the 10 key system. This is how I became insane having to validate what my heart knew with a machine that was totally mixed up. Sure the calculator worked properly it was just that I was giving it the wrong numbers to compute. Thanks for you being that proper validation to my heart knowledge, I have now learned to call wisdom.
Today I say thank you all for allowing me to come storming into your lives, convinced that like the old saying about March “in like a lion, out like a lamb” is also wisdom and trust that this holds true for this old man’s last years of a life, as the first were a great turbulence and tragedy for all concerned.
Today in closing I would like you to think on writing a letter in support of me relocating to New Hampshire where I would be closer to friends. For now I am being sent to Oklahoma City, OK where I do not know a sole because of the Supervised Release I have left to serve. Your letters of support would greatly help. I have no family and never have (see bio on the website). Yes, I still have a mental illness but with support and medications and most of all a home I think I am going to be fine.
Should you decide to support this transition of mine into society in any way, please contact one of these people( Cathy, Sue Johan, Dorothy, Winslowe or me (* need contact info here for each of them)through any one of them. They have also put up a gofundme for the transition on the home page under Support , any donations you can make will be greatly appricated. I am asking you to step into the circle with your support. You might ask what will I need, think on this if you were to be suddenly dropped into a world you had never been before and had nothing at all what would you need? That is the dilemma I find myself in at the present moment.
I offer my heart felt thanks and in closing I ask that you each take this journey with me. We have came a long way but as they say in here out there is the test, “where the rubber meets the road” real life happens, so much quicker than in here. As much as anything I need your advice and daily support to make this a successful transition, one that we can all look back on which deepens our belief in the human race that people are good. Show the difference we can make when we stand together in what our heart leads us to do. In every way today I stand in Awe before you, truly humbled and proud to be called your friend by so many of you. May the powers that make life possible on this tiny planet called Mother Earth be forever at your back pushing you onwards. God Bless you all.
Peace & Love
Aubrey Dean Elwood and Mat(Miss Apple Tree, my pet tree)