Schizophrenia

It came screaming, splitting nerves and fibers without effort.  Ever expanding… the last moment of things as they were… Then the world explodes!

Spiraling, shining ribbons of steel, coiling endlessly down corridors of chain-link-fences, glinting with reflections of the last rays of sunlight as twilight draws near. The sun, which fills my room chasing away the perpetual dusk that hides in the corners, drops off the globe.

Darkness comes as a welcome relief. My face still sore from smiling all day long, the mask I am forced to wear, lest I reveal the persona non grata within.

Suicidal thoughts rushing around in my head, thoughts like lies, you cannot tell which version is truth. Like dreaming eyes wide open. Afraid of that moment between the bullet entering the brain and being dead. Skeptical of death and dying being painless.

Seeing your blood gush out onto the floor, thinking thoughts you think when you see your life ending.

Then in a flash you return, like a heard of deer, returning to the watering hole, after one of their own has been eaten there. Cautious, apprehensive, afraid.

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