Christmas Out Of The Big House.

This is the Christmas Story as told to me by a previous resident of the designated mental health unit on December 25, 2015.

“Yep, I know the Christmas story, hell I was a wise man in the Christmas play in 1960. I was 14 years old, and President Kennedy got shot. The day that Myrtle got washed out to sea all the way to china probably, Katrina got her. I told her not to go to New Orleans. Yea the Christmas story well I am getting to it. Twas the night before Christmas. Once upon a time in a garden Eve ate an apple and become pregnant with Jesus. So Eve left god there and went in search of a man that works for a living in a dusty place far far away.

She (Eve) stumbled upon a drunk man who was also naked and they were ashamed and slept there for three days and nights. He kept talking about building a big boat. The Steelers won the super bowl this year. Mom and I think the Yankees lost the basketball game. I robbed a bank in Houston Texas. Oh yea, they set off for Houston but came to the Red Sea and stopped. Then this old man called Moses showed up and said he would carry them across the Red Sea for three pieces of silver and they paid him and He carried them across in a big storm and they come across Jacob and his two wives Ester and Ruth with a heard of goats, cows and sheep all spotted and speckled. They all traveled for forty days and forty nights and came to china.

Then they saw three kings coming across the desert and they had no water. Moses told them to go out and dig ditches all over the valley and they did. The next day Moses went out and him and Jacob pronounced their works good and Moses picked up a snake that turned to a stick and smote a rock on the right and water came out of the left side too and filled all the ditches to overflowing. The kings took out their water skins and filled them all up but they burst. Then Moses showed up with a stone tablet and read from it: ‘Thy shalt not put new water in old water skins’ and now they knew why the old ones burst and started making new ones but everyone else left and went to India.

Well when they got there; do you think it is getting close to time to eat? This story telling makes me hungry.”
“Soon it will be, Gary.”
“Ok, well it was dark and they found a barn and Jesus was born. Then they heard that this king  Solomon was real mad cause all he got for Christmas was wisdom. So they hid baby Jesus in some bushes and some Gypsies came by and found him and took him home and everyone lived happily ever after. Have you got a soup until we eat I am really hungry. I know the Easter Story too, do you want to hear it?”
“Well maybe later, Gary. I think its almost time to eat and you can have my desert today. It’s Christmas you know.”

Peace
Cowboy

PS  Gary left here in early 2016 for a medical unit and died of cancer a few months later. He had always been homeless in prison or a mental institution. I miss him.