Crookbook: toe-malies

Today we gonna make us sum toe-malies

Your gonna need:

  • 2 trash bags (new, or good used ones)
  • 1 mike-ro-wave bowl
  • Cut up the trash bag into 12 inch squares and put aside

Now to make toe-malie outsides

You gonna need:

  • 1 big bag tortilia chips
  • 1 medium bag pork rinds
  • 1 ramen soup

Now pop the bags at the top to let the air out. Crunch up chips, crunch up rinds, and ramen noodles (not the seasoning package). Now pour all that in remaining trash sack and shake into corner. Use your brogan heel like hammer and beat real good. Now add sum hot water and start mashing into dough through outside of bag. When you have firm lump of dough put aside.

To make toe-malies insides, you gonna need:

  • 1 bag dried refried beans (from commissary)
  • 3 or 4 servings of what meat was served in chow hall (pilfered)
  • 1 big onion from kitchen (also pilfered)
  • 1 beef salami, hot & spicy (from commissary)

Now chop up onion and beef salami with ID card. Now put it all in mike-ro-wave bowl (no, not the dough too). Add some water for the beans to soak up. Cook in mike-ro-wave ‘bout 3-6 min. Stir every once in a while. Then let cool sum.

Take 12 in. squares you cut up and place on floor. Make sum golf ball size balls of dough. Place one on square of plastic and with palm smash. Now put a plastic square on top. The find something to use as roller (If no one is around, the toilet brush handle will work). Roll out dough then peal top plastic off. Put 3 spoons of Insides on to round dough, then fold one side over. Peal back plastic. Fold ‘nother side over. Peal back plastic. Looks like long tube . Now fold ends over. Peal back plastic. Now wrap toe-malie in the plastic. Do the same thing until you run out of stuff.

Now your ready to sell sum (to pay for pilfering if you didn’t do it yourself), and sum to eat.

~ Just heat em up in mike-ro-wave ~

Next time we gonna make us sum de-zerts

Peace & Light
Cowboy

Remember: pilfering is against most of the institutional rules and regulations, so I can’t advocate it. I have found it is best to put stuff to be pilfered into sack and place in bottom of brogan. Be sure you equally divide what your pilfering in both brogans or you will be walking funny. A sure sign of amateur pilferer at work. Don’t get caught!

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